Kendra Wilkinson does not sugarcoat her post-baby life as a wife and mother in her upcoming memoir. The book, called Being Kendra: Cribs, Cocktails, And How I Got My Sexy Back, is the E! reality star and former Playmate's brutally honest account of pregnancy, motherhood and first marriage. Co-written with Jared Shapiro, Being Kendra -- a follow-up to her New York Times bestseller "Sliding Into Home" --will be released Sept. 20. The Famous got an exclusive sneak peek at the most jaw-dropping details:
*Wilkinson, battling postpartum depression following the birth of son Hank IV (with husband and ex-NFL player Hank Baskett), mentions suicide as she writes about dealing with the isolation of being a stay-at-home mom in Indianapolis, where Baskett was stationed with the Colts. (She got to a point where she was so depressed, she understood how and why other people might want to end their lives -- but she herself never would.) Wilkinson and Baskett had hardcore screaming matches, and she could not even bring herself to look in the mirror, feeling like a "hog." The efferverscent bombshell, who cultivated a sexy persona on E!'s "Girls Next Door," temporarily lost her ability to give love, and was emotionally detached while doing routine mommy stuff like changing little Hank's diapers. She became jealous of her nanny -- firing the woman -- because she wanted to do everything on her own, thereby risking her life and health. (Wilkinson's not alone: Brooke Shields, Gwyneth Paltrow and Bryce Dallas Howard are among the celebri-moms who've suffered from postpartum.)
*Wilkinson, now happily living in Calabasas, California with her Hanks, dishes in TMI detail about her married sex life, including: her preference for using mirrors in the bedroom, and having sex in cars, chairs, the floor, on Skype -- and everywhere else.
*She chronicles her torrid stint on "Dancing With the Stars," where she privately fought off camera with partner Louis Van Amstel, who's described as verbally abusive and too tough on Wilkinson. She cried at night, insecure over having to go back out on the dance floor with Van Amstel, finding comfort in her friendships with castmates Kirstie Alley and Heinz Ward.
(Not for nothing: we'd also rather hang out in Kirstie Alley's dressing room than publicly embarrass ourselves doing the cha cha cha on live TV. That would not be pretty.) Moving on! The fourth season of "Kendra" premieres Sept. 25 -- on E!, of course.